Opinion: Domestic violence awareness is crucial year-round

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Photo by William Alatriste

By ENDGBV Voices Committee

It is the end of October 2021 and we have come to the closing of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. During DVAM, we raise awareness about the experiences of survivors of domestic abuse, we share information about the services, and resources available throughout New York City to victims, and highlight the intricacies of gender-based violence.

One in 4 women, and 1 in 10 men have experienced intimate partner violence during their lifetime. This unfortunate phenomenon occurs in every part of our city, among people of all races, cultures, religions, and income levels; and can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation. While domestic violence is one of the most underreported crimes, in 2020, there were 233,006 incident reports filed by the NYPD — an average of almost 640 a day.

The dynamics of domestic violence center around power and control. It is not always physical violence, and can involve abusive financial, emotional, psychological, sexual tactics being used to exploit another person. It is a form of domestic terrorism, where one’s vulnerabilities are attacked, the negative aspects of one’s personality may be maliciously pointed out to break one down, and intimacy from one’s partner is withheld, for example. In addition, aspects of coercive control can come into play, where the abused individual’s parenting is targeted and children weaponized.

Survivorship involves challenging state systems and acknowledging society’s role in the experiences of survivors. Victim-survivor’s stories or behaviors may be contradictory, due to trauma bonding with the survivor often rationalizing the bad behavior from abusers. Many survivors are re-learning what love looks like and some simple tasks may be complex. It is imperative that empathy, compassion, and understanding be extended towards these individuals, and that they receive trauma informed support.

The ENDGBV VOICES Committee is a survivor-led group that serves as a voice of hope and change. We share our stories and experiences to raise awareness of intimate partner violence and its impacts, outreach to affected communities, and make recommendations for improved systemic responses, as we work towards a future in which all New Yorkers, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, age, sexual orientation, or immigration status, feel supported in pursuing lives free from abuse. You can reach out to the VOICES Committee at voices@endgbv.nyc.gov with questions.

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, we are here for you, and you are never alone. Help is available by calling 311 to find a Family Justice Center in your borough. They can assist with safety planning, applying for public benefits, mental health services and legal help for orders of protection, divorce and immigration. One can also call the 24-Hour NYC Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-621-HOPE. Other resources and support can be accessed by searching the City’s HOPE Resource Directory online at www.nyc.gov/NYCHOPE.